Here's What No One Tells You About Starting Over

Alex Tan Photography | Death to Stock

Recently I relocated and have started a new chapter in my life with my partner in crime, gotten myself a part time job, been ill for over a month, had four bees’ nests and obtained so much mismatched furniture my anxiety can’t cope sometimes. I am left out of balance with myself and life in general. 

Even after relocating a few times in my life I thought that I would have this down. After the goodbyes and all the unpacking what happens next?

Here's What No One Tells You About Starting Over:

Things Are Not Always Perfect

Relocating doesn’t always run smoothly. For instance, I am still unpacking, waiting on furniture and trying to establish a good routine. Due to this I am feeling behind on so many things and it can get overwhelming.

Some days you may not know what you are doing and that’s ok.

I assumed that when I went freelance full-time that I would have everything figured out but then I moved to a more expensive city and had to rethink my new life. So, I got myself a little part-time job to ease the stress of my finances. The job is manageable and means all of my bills are paid for at the end of the month without taking up too much of my time.

When we moved loved ones gave us unwanted home goods and this was much appreciated as we didn’t have much money left to nest in our new home. So, what if the furniture doesn’t match? I say this as the perfectionist side of me is being impatient and wants everything cohesive and well placed. You have plenty of time to get yourself in order and the things you want to do. No one is perfect you shouldn’t feel bad because things are not what you expect them to be.

Doubt Will Rear Its Ugly Head

Relocating is never easy. You will doubt yourself. Am I making the right decision by moving away? What if it all goes wrong? what if I fail? These doubts and much more can flood your mind.

Me I get homesick sometimes and miss my friends but then I remember why I moved away. It is what was best for me. No one can dictate your life but you. Changing your mindset and doing your best to build your new life can be an incredible experience.

Growing up I knew that people wanted to see me fail and I have countless times, but I am still going and still learning with each mistake and achievements. Haters will hate but the only voice that matters is your own. Carry on doing your thing and be proud of how far you’ve come. Even if it something big or small you did that, and you have every right to feel good about that.

When I have self-doubt I keep myself busy, journal, do yoga, have a bath, listen to podcasts or watch vlogs created by talented and inspiring people to lift my spirits. Everyone is different do what works for you.

 Making Friends Is Not As Easy As It Used To Be

In real life and online you have to go out of your way to make connections with others and put in the effort. The world is pretty fast paced now and if you are moving or already have moved to a city like myself then it can be difficult forming friendships.

Now I am one of those people who struggle to make friends easily but that is ok because I do value my time alone and prefer the friends I gained growing up with and the ones I have made from previous jobs.

Organically you will meet people overtime. In most of my jobs I have made friends for life. I even got myself a part-time job a month after I relocated and started a new chapter in my life.

Some of the people I have met are lovely and I get to know them more with each shift. I am not saying I will be out dancing and dancing with them on the weekends but connecting with people makes the job a better working environment.

Getting to know the neighbours can be daunting for some. A lot of curtain twitching was happening when we were getting settled. I like to think we are boring sometimes but clearly people were curious about us.

Through passing we have met a few of our next-door neighbours who are pleasant and one of them even has a little Staffordshire bull terrier who is amazing and loves belly rubs! 

Alex Tan Photography | Death to Stock

Have Some Fun

After moving I ended up with a chest infection and felt deflated with everything but after I got better I tried to perk myself up with some things. I explored my new city. A couple of searches on Google and some walking around to explore was just what I needed. I found a large beautiful park and some good food places to try out.

Discover new and exciting activities in your new location or even set yourself a new challenge that is personal to you. Some days I love going out to the cinema, a music gig or a gin and food festival but then some days I want to reorganise my wardrobe and have a clear out and have Netflix on in the background. These activities might not sound fun to some but each to their own. What makes you smile?

 Reinventing Yourself Is A Challenge

Starting afresh and becoming the new you can be daunting. There are parts of you that you may not like and want to make some changes.

I imagine myself sometimes becoming an instafamous artist just like that with loads of money in bank and going on round the world trips living the high life. Then the realist part of me is like get a new fashion look, get my jobs done and get my projects off the ground. Even these tasks don’t happen over-night.

Go at your own pace and make the changes you want.

Right now, I am clearing out unnecessary clutter, having a more of a positive outlook, avoiding drama, concentrating on getting settled in my new home and what I can do for my business to grow.

When things do not go to plan treat yourself to self-care. You are number one!

Look To The Future

The future can have so many possibilities. It is exciting! Dreaming up ways of different outcomes to an amazing future can give you the warm and fuzzies. To make the future you want plan and execute how you wish to get there.

I recommend a mood board. The first mood board I created of the life I wanted for myself included an art studio, a big house by a lake, a cute dog and a huge wardrobe room of clothes. Since then my mindset has changed and the way the world is I wish for a peaceful mind, doing the work that I love, a happy life with my partner, a cute pet obviously and roof over our heads.

Maybe you are not where you thought you were going to be at a certain stage in your life but do not let that stop you. The future has so many possibilities just like you.

Whether you have just moved or considering relocating it can be an adjustment and have many bumps in the road but the journey to building your new life can be an incredible experience. Enjoy the adventure and take each day as it comes.